Ecstasy
by the Shutterbug
Summary: She likes Ecstasy because when she dances in the arms of a stranger, it helps her forget. //Sasusaku// oneshot.


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.Ecstasy.

-By Dark Angel Heart.

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You turn around in circles, your dress hugs your skin, and your hair sticks to your neck. You try to forget. The red and blue lights dance off your body as your wet hair sticks to your face and neck. You are beautiful.

You try to forget that you are not happy. You try to forget that you are alone. You try to forget that everything is not the way it was suppose to be. You try to forget that your parents are not happy either. You try to forget that your friends don't understand you. Or do you even have any friends. You don't remember. You don't want to nor do you need to.

You continue trying to forget.

But in the end it all come back to you and you are so very tired of trying.

And you spin again and try to forget some more. You finally forget to breath.

Because you are the kind of girl that runs after the sky just after the rain has stopped, and the kind of girl that would lift up your hand and try to catch the sunlight because you don't want it you disappear.

You pull yourself closer to the person behind you and fell his arm tightens around your waist, in response. He puts his head on your shoulder and some of his brown hair falls on your neck and face. You realized that he fells warm so very warm and you smile. You don't know his name and he doesn't know your.

Shaking your head you clear it of all your thoughts and then turn around and face him. He lifts his head from your shoulder and loos at you. You both have stopped moving to the rhythm but neither of you two realizes it. He lifts up an eyebrow at you and you smile again.

He understands and leaving one hand on your waist, he digs it into his pocket and removes a small tablet. You stare at it with your eyes; you need it so badly because you can think now. You don't want to think anymore.

He puts the tablet into his mouth and doesn't even have the time to think as you smash your mouth against his. You push your tongue into his mouth and fight for the small tablet that is already dissolving in his mouth.

You pull back, satisfied and beam at him. You slowly feel the effects of tablet taking place and you are glad because you won't be able to think anymore.

You don't like to breath because it makes you remember.

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_"Someday the inversed butterfly will face the light"_

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You can hear their shouts till your room, even if the door is closed and locked. And you finally understood that stuffing your face into your pillow doesn't drain their shouts out.

You don't want to understand 'reality'. It was too cruel for you, anyway. You just want to go far, far away for here and live by yourself or with someone you can trust. You don't know who that someone is and you don't need to know.

You believe in fairytales because in every one of them, good always wins over evil. The boy always saves the girl and kills the villain. Because all fairytales start with 'Once upon a time' and always, always end with 'The end'.

You don't know your 'Once upon a time' and neither do you know about your 'the end'. All you can do is hope that it is a good ending. And you never knew when you life had started and when it is going to end because you never really pay attention to your surrounding any more.

But a long time ago, you remember yourself being happy and nice. You looked pretty and had a lot of friends. You had a boy with dark eyes and black hair, you liked him. Those were the memories that you try not to forget, because they are precious.

But now everything was such a blur and you stopped long ago trying to make it clear. Because you are finally tired, so very tired to care anymore.

Sometimes you wonder why all this was happening to you. You remember being a good girl; always listening to your parents. You never stole anything from anyone; neither did you steal from the cookie jar. You never picked a fight and never sought after revenge. You helped everybody and made them happy. So why was the entire bad thing happening to you.

Your mother is crying now but she hasn't stopped screaming at your father. Your father raises his voice and you curl yourself up to yourself on your bed. Their voices are too loud to ignore now.

You can't handle anymore, so you reach out under your bed and remove the small box. Opening it you remove two small tablets and smile to yourself.

On top of the tablets is a small writing that says 'Adam' and you know what it means right when you see it. You know the tablet like the back of your hand. Is bad for you but you can't help it because it is all that you have that will take you away to beautiful colours.

You pop them both into your mouth and wait for the reactions to take place. You fell the sickly sweet taste of it on you tongue and smile again.

Everything starts to become a blur. You have always liked the mixed colours that are visible now; after all you were always attracted to beautiful colours.

You smile as you rest your head against the pillows. You can't here you're parents shout at each other anymore, so you don't realize that your father has left and your mother was crying on the couch.

You could have heard it if you weren't in your own world, but you're glad you don't know what was going on because you don't want that horrible pain to come back again.

It was better this way, in this way you don't have to know. You can be oblivious to all of your surroundings.

You like 'Ecstasy' because it makes you forget.

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_'It'll become a sweet flower; it'll even become a poisonous fruit'  
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Everything has become a blur for you now. Like a fixed routine that you cannot change even if you try your level best.

It's like the sunshine and the rain all at the same time, and you don't mind the effects it has on you.

_Because that's the way it is._

And you've never believed in fate, and if you ever have it's been a long time since you've have stopped. Love, to you, meant nothing now because if there was really a thing called 'Love' then, you're father would have never left you're mom.

If there was a thing called 'Love' then…, then _why?_

The pretty colours have disappeared now and they won't come back for a long time. You miss them. You're hungry and so tired of crying and so very sure that the tears have dried away.

"You look hungry, here! I'm not hungry anyway."

You raise you head and stare at the blond beauty in front of you. Why was she talking to you? What was her name?

You open your mouth to thank her, but no words come out because you've stopped talking for such a long time. The words are so foreign in your mouth and you close you're lips before you let them come out.

You slightly remember her, the one who used to be your best friend. To whom you told you're deepest darkest secrets to. Was this girl the same girl who was your best friend? You don't know, you don't want to remember.

She looked so pretty, with those green eyes and golden hair. Were you as pretty as her? You don't care because beauty is the last thing in your mind.

She smiles at you and you try to smile back because your mother always told you that it was nice to do so. But who was going to scold you now, your mother is as bad as you and she doesn't even care about you now, does she?

You look around the table and see the unfamiliar faces of the people around you. Another blonde, a black haired guy and a black, long haired girl.

You don't know them and you are sure that they don't know you. But you can't be sure because how long has it been since you zoned out the whole world.

How long have they been here? Have they been here all along? That could not be possible because then you would have noticed, right?

You stare back at the food in front of you. Why was she so nice to you? It's a burger.

You remember the times in your past in which you're father took you to eat out side and you would eat to burgers and you're parents would stare at you fondly. Why don't you all out anymore?

Suddenly you're not hungry anymore.

You resume you habit of staring at your lap and you don't see the sad smile that the blond eyed boy shots at you. You miss the teary look that the two girls look at you with. And are ignorant to the unexplained look the other boy looks at you with.

You like being oblivious because you have an excuse for not answering the question asked to you.

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_'Are a gentle rhythm that feels like crying'  
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You dancing again and you like this part of your life. In this part of life you don't need to live you can just dance forever and no one is going to stop you.

You always liked to think that this was your escape, your sanctuary, your safe heaven. Dancing makes you dream or not, you don't really know.

Because when you sleep in your bed, and drift off into a strong sleep, you can't dream or maybe you don't want to.

Because dreams are for people who want to live and you gave them up and that was a long time ago. Dreams made you happy and fuzzy and made your heart leap. You wonder why you don't get it anymore.

Maybe it is because you drown your self in those tablets and drugs and you're surprised that you haven't tasted alcohol yet.

Maybe it is because alcohol doesn't make you forget as much as Ecstasy does. Because Ecstasy makes you fell like your floating in the clouds and make you happy. It makes you fell like your on the top of the world and no one can bring you down.

It makes you feel like you're on cloud nine and maybe even above that.

You might even go as far as saying that you need it for your survival because it just is. You were never good at lying, so that's why you prefer to stay quite.

The music takes control of you and you let it seep into your veins. It is in you bloodstream and you like it where it is.

Arms came around you and you smile. You don't really care who it is, it can be anyone as long as they don't stop you from dancing.

"Hey."

His voice is soft and wanting. Do you know him? He sounds familiar.

"You remember me?"

You want to answer, and you whisper a soft 'No' because it true anyway. You can fell his frown on your neck and suddenly if all comes to you. And you hate him for bringing back the memories.

Will he give you some more 'Ecstasy'? You want to ask him but you are too afraid, what if he is angry with you for forgetting?

But it really is not your fault; you just seem to like forgetting so much that you have become addicted to that drug that he always offers you. You want it now, your starting to remember.

"Ecstasy?"

You whisper to him, you can fell his grin in you neck. He places small butterfly kisses on your neck and you give him more access. You don't know why though, maybe it is because you don't like felling alone or you just want your 'Ecstasy'.

He turns you around smashes his mouth on your mouth and you finally get your drug. You're happy.

But you happiness get smashed into the ground when your pulled away from him and taken outside the club, you have no idea on who it is but you don't argue.

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_'I wonder if we can leave the figures of each and everyone somewhere'  
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He's screaming at you, and you don't pay attention to what he's saying. He looks so sad and angry and won't stop screaming at you.

"What the hell are you thinking? Do you even know-"

You don't, you don't really know what was happening to you fucked up life. You not happy and when was the last time you've cried?

And you don't really know what happen next but you miss you drug and you need it so bad. You sad now, you fell the regret seeping into you and your heart clenches. Why was he making you fell that way?

His eyes are so sad and so black. His bands fall onto his face and you think he's pretty. But no boy was suppose to be pretty. It was against the rules. But since when have you started to listen to the rules.

"Ecstasy!"

He's so angry now, but you need you medicine. The medicine that saves you from the darkness and the medicine that pulls you into the darkness.

You don't know what really happen next but all you could fell was him and being clouded and drowning into his additive scent.

His mouth in on your and you've never felt this way before, you fell like you flying and floating on thin air. You like this feeling so you full him closer.

His hand run along the sides of your body and you arch into him.

The last thing you remember was feeling a huge amount of pleasure and finally being able to breath.

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_'No matter how far people reach out their hands, an unreachable place inside of people exists'_

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He is whispering to you and you allow his gentle voice to take you in. you have a deep urge to smile and maybe you can finally truly believe.

He's so warm, not like that guy in the club. Sasuke was a good kind of warm, like you could drown into it and never wake up. Even if that really happen you wouldn't have minded.

He continues to whisper sweet nothing into your ear as his hand continue to worship you body. Maybe its not nothing and maybe it is. Maybe it does mean something to both of you but you're too drowsy to think.

And right before you drift off to sleep you hear him whisper.

"Next time, you come to me," it wasn't a request it was an order.

You can't find it in yourself to disagree.

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You start to dream again.

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_'I wonder to what point we can protect a single thought'  
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You don't really know what was going on but hell you don't care. You are nervous for the first time, and brush the pink hair which had resided itself on your heart shaped face.

Your parents are fighting again and you sneaked out from the back door because your tired of listening.

You had started to make your way towards the club when you had remembered him.

"_Next time, you come to me."_

And now you found yourself on his door step and wondering why in heaven's sake you actually listened to him. But you can't stop your self from knocking on the door.

He opens the door and seems to understand right away and you smile when you fell his arms around you and his lips on your.

You don't like Ecstasy anymore, you have found something so much better.

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_A/N: I don't know._

_I just felt like it. Now don't be heartless and please review._


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